The end of a relationship is a tough time for both people. The pain from a relationship ending is usually always worse if it was a long term relationship because so much more time and emotional energy has been invested into the relationship. There are other factors that can make things more difficult as well, such as children being involved.
Many people who have just come out of a relationship can sometimes obsess about why it ended. Initially, this is quite a common reaction and completely normal but it becomes a problem if months later this process of rumination is still occurring. You see when you are ruminating you keep thinking about things over and over in your head about why it ended. Often, many people create a meaning in their head where they look for reasons about why it ended and this can end up evolving into negative self-talk.
This is a danger that everyone who has just experienced a relationship breakdown needs to be aware of. When moving on from a relationship breakdown it’s important that you don’t end up developing this kind of negative self-talk. This negative self-talk will make you blame yourself and ultimately, it will damage your self-esteem. The longer that this kind of thing goes on then the more likely it is that you’ll take longer to move on with your life.
So the moral is to stop obsessing about your relationship breakdown. It is to try create a meaning for what happened in a way that allows you to move on with your life because everyone needs to move on with their life at some point. Eventually, you will want to be with someone else again and this is when you may want to consider matchmaking.