If you are single and searching for the right person with whom to share the future, we appreciate that it can be quite an exciting but also quite a daunting time. This can be particularly so if it has been some time since you last found yourself considering a first date. So here are a few suggestions from Attractive Partners for breaking the ice that you may find helpful for that first conversation.
If you have made contact with someone new through an internet dating site, you will be hoping they will be something like their profile. In this instance put your safety first and follow the guidance given when meeting someone you are not at all certain of.
It is easier if meeting someone new through a reputable introductions agency such as Attractive Partners. Then you will have seen a profile of someone who has already been verified by the agency, you will know that your matchmaker thinks that the two of you could be a very compatible couple and you will know that the other party is genuinely interested in meeting you.
With Attractive Partners introductions we ask that the gentleman contacts the lady by phone and that the gentleman sends a friendly text initially, to say hello and to suggest a convenient time that they might call. We recommended this ice breaker as it is so much easier for the lady to be expecting a call around a certain time than to be caught on the hop, perhaps when it isn’t such a good time. Even so, you are still strangers to each other, so a lot can rest on this first conversation. Whether or not this person proves to be your future soul mate, it makes sense to consider how to make the right first impression.
So here are our suggestions for that first interaction that should hopefully lead to a promising first date –
- Always check if it is a convenient time to talk.
- Don’t call too soon, but don’t leave it too long to pluck up courage. Gentlemen, aim to at least send a friendly text within 24 hours of having a lady’s number.
- Never talk about an ex-partner at this stage.
- Never respond to a suggestion of somewhere to meet by linking it to a past relationship, ‘my late husband loved that place’ or ‘my wife would often suggest we try there’.
- Do make conversation rather than interview someone – talk and listen, not just one or the other.
- Never let them make a statement about themselves and just ignore it, ask a related question to show that you are interested in them.
- Never say, ‘I cannot meet you for the next three weeks, I’m really busy…’ They will assume you are not that bothered and who could blame them. You can say, ‘I’m really sorry, I’m going away this weekend but I could see you on Tuesday if that would be OK for you?”
- Avoid wacky, off-beat humour or asking questions that are just too personal. Both can easily cause the other person to feel uncomfortable when they have still to get to know you.
- If you have been chatting for more than fifteen minutes, get to the point and ask to meet. Someone has to take the plunge, why not you? And it’s good to have one or two nice places in mind to suggest that are convenient for both of you to get to.
- Above all, keep it relaxed and friendly and keep an open mind. You don’t have to decide if someone is perfect on one call. If there are possibilities then say yes to a meeting, after all nothing ventured means nothing gained!