Yesterday I spoke with a lovely gentleman. His wife of 30 plus years died a few years ago and although he has a close and loving family and the resources to enjoy a quality lifestyle, he felt increasingly low and had lost his sense of purpose in life. After much deliberation and a visit to the doctors, he called us. I am so glad he did because we can help him enjoy life to the full again and to experience finding happiness again. You can’t put a price on that.
I meet a lot of men who have lost their purpose and direction as a result of losing their wife or partner – not just through illness but through divorce and separation. Women are not immune to the impact of separation in this way but as a sweeping generalisation, women thrive and men dive when they find themselves on their own.
Responding to life as a single person again is of course a very individual experience. Largely it depends on whether it was imposed or a choice made. Women will eventually regroup and start socialising again with their girlfriends. This isn’t as easy for men even if they were hard wired to do it, which they are not. When it comes to the evolutionary crunch, men are hunters and providers and unless they have someone to hunt and provide for they feel lost. Most men don’t admit this even to themselves, so they lose them selves in some kind of distraction and often in the online dating sites which can be alien to them.
One of our lady clients had me in fits of laughter recently. She was so shocked at seeing her ex husband on Match.com. “He couldn’t even manage his online bank account or the TV remote before we split up so I know he must be hating every moment of being on an online dating site” she said. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If any of this resonates with you or someone you know please know there is another way. Pass it on. Yes it will cost you a little more financially to use a professional quality introduction and dating agency, but it won’t cost you your soul or your self-esteem and finding happiness agian will be worth every penny.
Think about it. Because you’re worth it. 🙂
