Getting the most out of a new relationship
You join Attractive Partners, another mainstream personal introductions agency or an online dating site, of which there are many thousands in the UK. But what about getting the most out of a new relationship, when you begin to meet new people? What’s the etiquette, how is it best to go about it and what are the traps that you can so easily fall into?
Here are a few pointers from our own matchmaking team at Attractive Partners and the sort of sound advice we would normally give:
There is absolutely no reason to rush into anything too quickly. We recommend speaking on the phone at first and having a proper conversation, if it goes well and you feel comfortable with each other, then move it on to a meeting on neutral ground over a coffee and see if you still feel the same afterwards.
Enjoy Proper Dates
If the initial conversation and the meeting over coffee goes somewhere, then move on a bit further and enjoy some proper dates, a drive out to a country pub for a drink or a meal, the theatre, the cinema, a concert or even better somewhere you can talk and start to get to know each other. At this stage our recommendation would be to avoid cosy nights in, as it can lead you in the wrong direction, when you don’t actually know each other as yet.
Don’t rush into intimacy too quickly
That’s why we gave the advice we did above – don’t put temptation in each others way too early, until you feel confident that the relationship has the legs to go somewhere, rather you just becoming another notch on someones bed post and end up getting hurt.
Avoid seeing each other too often
Take it steady and don’t rush, you don’t have to be seeing each other everyday until you’re more sure. Give each other space and leave him or her feeling a little bit hungry to see you again.
Be open and honest
Perhaps some people have a tendency to test the water in terms of how far the relationship can go, for the sake of it. Maybe they think they are ‘punching above their weight’ and that they are not quite good enough for you. Sometimes it is therefore best to have a ‘clear the air’ discussion and for you both to be completely honest about how you feel and how you would like to see things pan out.
Set firm boundaries
Talk to each other and clearly set out the boundaries for this fledgling relationship. Talk about what you want to achieve, what you expect in return and the timescales, so that both of you can assess how it’s going and easily draw conclusions as to whether or not you’re on track in the weeks and months to come.
If you are working with a professional matchmaker at Attractive Partners or a similar company, then that person knows how relationships tend to develop in those early days. So talk it through and flag up your concerns if you have them – it can help a tremendous amount to share them with someone experienced who knows the ropes.
Most of all though our advice would be enjoy it, enjoy the newness and the excitement of a new love and to go with it to see where it leads you, who knows this could be the soulmate you have been seeking for so long. So do give it a chance to see if it will blossom.