Looking back a few years, relationships tended to start with a first date which after a few meetings led to that ‘going steady’phase, before either a tearful break-up or a decision to live together and eventually get married. How the world has moved on!
These days dating and what constitutes a ‘relationship’ is less clearly defined. Though couples still tend to arrive at a point where they agree they are in an exclusive relationship with each other, this often becomes a ‘living apart together’ relationship, with a day or two living together and the other days living apart. The buzz word is ‘LAT’s or ‘living apart together’.
There is something very appealing in knowing the weekend holds the promise of romance and fun to look forward to with a partner whilst still having ‘me time’ and time to fit in the chores during the week. This clears the decks to enjoy the anticipation of the company of someone special without losing your identity. Bliss?
To many this seems the ideal arrangement – an exclusive sexual partner to sleep with, someone to travel with for short breaks or more extensive holidays, a partner to go to the theatre, dine out and days out. All this without having to share or argue about the mundane aspects of daily life can keep romance ticking along very nicely indeed thank you.
As a woman I see the appeal. One of the few bonuses of my divorce was an end to the pressure of fitting in with my husband’s plans or to have to negotiate the household chores. We can all be on our best behaviour for high days and holidays rather than through every up and down of daily life. That ‘me’ time is now an important part of my life.
So are there any drawbacks? Well, apart from savings not made on housing etc. for many couples the answer is not really. Modern communications mean we can still ‘be there’ and be in touch 24/7 if we want to. For couples meeting in later life it can be a smoother way of fitting around complex family structures and work commitments which also need to be catered for.
It all depends if the arrangement suits both parties and continues to be the preferred option for both. Our advice would be to do what works best for you as a couple and keep talking to each other so you know if anything is changing and you can respond to each others needs. Keeping communication channels open is always the best policy and what works well now may need to be changed in the future.
We match our clients on a number of compatibility factors including your shared future vision. So whether you want to be a married couple, a living together couple, a ‘LAT ‘couple or simply a dating couple we make sure there’s a good fit.